


blackened rose

by HugsNotDrugs



Series: Blackened Rose [1]
Category: TOMORROW X TOGETHER | TXT (Korea Band)
Genre: Abandonment Issues, Alternate Universe - Rock Band, Band Fic, Character Study, Choi Yeonjun Is A Good Hyung, Gen, Implied/Referenced Cheating, Introspection, Light Angst, M/M, Not shipping - Freeform, Swearing, Texting, beomgyu and yeonjun are brothers, beomgyu is a uni dropout, brief sookai, character focused fic, hotshot soobin lead vocalist, like so incredibly good, no good resolution tbh, taegyu potential here on purpose
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-28
Updated: 2020-12-28
Packaged: 2021-03-11 01:41:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,484
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28377141
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HugsNotDrugs/pseuds/HugsNotDrugs
Summary: There is nothing more important to Choi Beomgyu than his brother, Yeonjun, and their band, Blackened Rose.
Relationships: Choi Beomgyu & Choi Yeonjun, Choi Soobin/Choi Yeonjun, Choi Soobin/Huening Kai
Series: Blackened Rose [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2078355
Kudos: 18





	blackened rose

"Take it from the top," Beomgyu murmured. Yeonjun nodded at him from the piano, placing his feet in position over the pedals, fingers poised over the keys.

"A one, a two, a one two three four!"

Beomgyu and Yeonjun were a go-getter duo. That's what Beomgyu described when the interviewer, a nervous young girl in an oversized sweater, stammered out her question. The two of them, known collectively as Blackened Rose, were little more than an indie rock hop band in their hometown with the occasional commission, so when a regional fair offered to write a piece on them, invited them to perform at the festival and sent a green hire to interview, the Choi's scheduled it as soon as they could.

"We want to perform for as many people as possible. We want to bring our voices to a bigger audience." Beomgyu said earnestly.

She asked about their relationship.  
"We're brothers, but before that we are best friends. I can't imagine doing this gig with anyone else." Yeonjun answered, one foot propped on his other knee. Beomgyu elbowed him on instinct, not used to hearing Yeonjun be so frankly affectionate.

After they finished the interview, they stopped by a cafe for croissants and coffee, passing scribbled lyrics between themselves as they sipped their hot drinks, piecing them together and taking them apart. The two worked together in perfect harmony; Beomgyu appreciated it. In all honesty, he was the kind to cling onto his older brother, following his whims and doing his best to make him happy. And if he were ever honest, Yeonjun would admit the same for Beomgyu.

Beomgyu remembered the day he dropped out of uni, only 19, eyes sore from crying by the time he showed up at Yeonjun's apartment, too ashamed to see their parents. Yeonjun was a freshly working adult, but he took the day off to comfort Beomgyu, taking him to the movie theater and picking a random movie that was airing, ready to spend most of the runtime comforting his little brother in the darkness of the back row.

It was just their luck that the movie was about a legendary music duo and their rise to fame, the way they struggled through their humble beginnings to become national hits. Beomgyu tried not to let his eyes sparkle too much.

"Could be us," Yeonjun murmured absentmindedly during the film. Beomgyu wasn't sure he heard it right, but his heart thrummed with excitement nonetheless. Both he and Yeonjun were raised with a musical background, between the two of them they could play four instruments and sing decently. It was foolish to put so much into his dream, and Beomgyu thought it a pipe dream until Yeonjun got laid off.

"Company downsized. Kicked me out cause I was new." He slammed the door closed behind him and threw off his coat, the winter chill still fresh on his breath.

"What? What are we gonna do?" Beomgyu panicked, his pencil rolling onto the floor. He picked it back up and put it back on the table over the sheet music he was penciling in by hand.

"Whatever you're doing," Yeonjun came over and nodded at his rudimentary work, nodding his head to the rhythm he transcribed into his head. Beomgyu blanched.

"I'll be on the lookout for a new job, but in the meantime, why not go back to the good old days?" Yeonjun shrugged. He was really suggesting it. But that's stupid, if anything Beomgyu needed to pull his weight and get a job too.

"Hyung, let's work together."

So they got part-time jobs with a good schedule, lived a bit more frugally and shared the rent, but slowly saved for a standing piano, a keyboard, a good microphone, and snuck Beomgyu's guitar out of the house when they visited for Christmas (on the news of him dropping out, his mom cried, his dad went into a silent rage. He still got the guitar though, and Yeonjun stood up for him).

The two get home at the same time, Beomgyu on his bike and Yeonjun off the Metro a block from their apartment. 

“Hiyo,” They’d say to each other in greeting. Then they’d go up the stairs, raid the fridge for whatever scraps were left, and spend the evening composing music and advertising themselves for gigs, or meticulously adding the right hashtags to their Twitter posts. That was mostly Yeonjun’s job as he had majored in business and advertising, even though he didn’t use it for jack squat. While Yeonjun worked on the computer, Beomgyu practiced fingering chords on his guitar, humming a snippet of a new song. After they practiced together, from 5 P.M. until about 8:30, they slow their progress to avoid noise complaints and Beomgyu would work on concept art for their album or daydream about costuming and stage layouts.

Together, they were a good team. And Yeonjun did a good job with outreach, he did. They performed at local shows, small office events and whatnot. Everyone starts somewhere. Sometimes Beomgyu would wake up at 1 A.M. to take a leak and see his brother still tapping away at his computer, sometimes frowning or smiling lightly. Lately he could hear him snickering to himself (hashtags are not that funny) and sacrificing his sleep, to which Beomgyu paid no mind. Just because he left all his friends back at uni doesn’t mean Yeonjun did, and who was he to deny his brother a social life?

Preparing for the festival was exhausting. They practiced day in and day out whenever their schedules permitted, and more than one frustrating phone call was had about time constraint, lineup, and compensation.

“However you look at it, $200 between the two of us is far too little for a show of this scale.” Yeonjun hissed into the phone. 

“You’re not the main ones bringing in our revenue. You should be grateful that you’re mixed in with bigger names.” A tinny voice replied through the speakers, and whether they were a superior or subordinate didn’t matter because Blackened Rose would be passed between them anyway and nothing would come of it.

And so the duo ended up a bit glum, but still grateful for the exposure, and they practiced hard anyway, determined to be the highlight of the festival. They practiced for two straight weeks, getting down the nuances of their works and visiting the stage itself, planning out spacing and how they were going to fit in stage presence.

“Gyu, I’m gonna be out today, ok?” Beomgyu looked up from his phone. Yeonjun was dressed up for clubbing, in a black turtleneck and a silver chain, leather jeans and a bomber jacket. He had a pair of aviators that were purely for fashion perched on his freshly-dyed pink hair, which was drawn back into a small ponytail. He looked _really_ good, like he was out to _catch_ someone. It was awfully close to their performance, but didn't his brother deserve a break? It'll certainly stave off burnout.

A torrent of thoughts and emotions rushed through Beomgyu’s mind, the foremost being loneliness. How poignant it was, to realize his brother had a life outside of their band, that he would find love and move on, maybe hand Beomgyu the master key to the apartment and never return. In Beomgyu’s mind, Yeonjun was already far away, their paths forking irreparably. And where did that leave Beomgyu? Just a stupid kid.

“Can I come?” Beomgyu blurted out. And for the first time in his life the look Yeonjun gave him made him feel like the annoying, clingy little brother he was. Yeonjun wiped his expression quickly, becoming soft again. He came over to ruffle his brother’s hair, perhaps sensing his ill ease.

“No Beom, I’m just taking a night for myself ok? Stay home and be safe.” Yeonjun beamed, ever the good hyung.

“You too.” Beomgyu muttered.

Of course, he followed Yeonjun undetected, staying just a few steps back on the lengthy bus ride, the trek downtown to the clubs following Yeonjun’s high-heel booted strut and… yeah. The Choi brothers passed their ID to the bouncer and were in, acting as polar opposites as Yeonjun found a well-lit area and Beomgyu receded into the shadows. In order to follow the older man, he didn’t really have the chance to dress well, throwing on one of his emo fits from back in the day. Beomgyu was kind of hoping he’d seem unapproachable enough, really just here to… to do what exactly? Spy on his brother?

He stayed glued to his seat, observing Yeonjun sitting on his own, waiting and waiting, turning away the men and women who came up to flirt with him (too many).

“Beomgyu-hyung?” A thin, melodious voice made Beomgyu jump. He looked at the man who called to him who was just a bit shorter, with large brown eyes and a perfect nose, dressed sensibly but attractively in form-fitting denim and a smart polo shirt, coming to his side.

“Hi there ummmm-” Beomgyu stalled.

“I’m Kang Taehyun, we had English together in undergrad.”

“Oh. Hi. I’m Choi Beomgyu, uh, you already knew that. How are you doing…?”

“I’m mostly here to find a boyfriend.” Taehyun stated frankly.

“Oh. I’m here to uh… find a boyfriend also?”

“Clearly.” Taehyun snorted. “C’mon, you’ve been glued to the wall for a hot minute, let’s go to the bar, drinks on me.”

“Wait!” Beomgyu panicked, Taehyun still holding his sleeve. “I-” He looked up and Yeonjun was gone. Eyes roving frantically across the club, Beomgyu saw the backs of two tall figures, one in a telltale pink ponytail, heading out through one of the back hallways, arms wrapped around each other’s waists. Leave it to Yeonjun to find a man even taller than he was.

He let out an audible sigh. “Don’t tell me you already had someone in mind?” Taehyun followed his dejected gaze, squinting at the two shadowy figures. Beomgyu could hear their imagined laughter ringing in his head.

“What? No.” Beomgyu scrunched his nose. “The pink-haired one is my brother.” He explained.

“My bad.” Taehyun laughed embarrassedly.

In the end, it was Taehyun who saved the night for Beomgyu. He kept Yeonjun off of the older boy’s mind, treating him at the bar as his best and often only company, and saw him safe and well onto the last bus of the night back to his apartment.

“G’night Beomgyu,” he said, tapping his SMS into Beomgyu’s phone before giving it back to him, waving at him through the bus window though Beomgyu’s vision had gone blurry from fatigue.

Upon returning home, Beomgyu miserably stripped off his club clothes and ran his hair under the shower, washing out the hookah and beer stench that clung to his skin. He collapsed in bed, shooting a quick text to Yeonjun. 

_home by when? dont be out too late_

He pressed the home button to show the lock screen. It was 11:35 P.M. Besides his own breathing, the apartment was silent.

\-------------

“Hey sleepyhead.” Yeonjun woke him up for breakfast, putting a bowl of cold cereal in Beomgyu’s hand.

“You’re back.” Beomgyu said a bit too happily, sitting up and tousling his own hair before shaking it out.

“I wasn’t gone that long was I?” Yeonjun huffed. “You’re a big boy now, you gotta get used to being on your own.” He cooed teasingly, patting Beomgyu on the head and babying him. Beomgyu wrinkled his face in disgust as Yeonjun snickered.

“Up you go. It’s a big day every day for Blackened Rose, but today is the dress rehearsal.” The older man let out an audible yawn and walked away as Beomgyu pulled on his clothes and scarfed down the cereal, leaving the used bowl in the sink. 

“Kickass,” Beomgyu muttered, trying to blink the fatigue from his eyes.

The venue was one bus and train ride from home, and the two young men attracted some curious looks with their electric keyboard, mixer, guitar, and two large bags of luggage for a night of playing. They looked distinctly rock, with Yeonjun donning more hip hop vibes, fitting their music. Beomgyu subtly flaunted their album cover with their band name on it, holding the record in the crook of his arm as he pretended to nod off on the train.

They waited backstage with some of the other performers until it was their turn, four or five names sitting in what was essentially a large gray box with dingy lighting. Beomgyu finished tuning his guitar and pulled out his phone, checking his texts for the first time.

Yeonjun Hyung:  
_might not bbe home tonite?_

_nevermind im coming sleep tight okkk_

Kang Taehyunnie (uni):  
_hi i put my full name in case you forgot it_  
_lmk if you ever wanna meet up for coffee_

He frowned. So Yeonjun originally had other plans. Beomgyu looked up to see his brother with his legs crossed, at first shocked, then grinning stupidly as he recognized something across from him, the mixer in his lap left half-calibrated. Beomgyu looked across the way at another man in dark violet eyeshadow, his mile-long legs stretching out as he clamped a pair of drumsticks between his knees, his hands rifling through his lyric book as his rosy lips mouthed along.

Beomgyu looked back at Yeonjun, who had gone starry-eyed.

"Hyung, let's go." It was their window of time now. Beomgyu began to strap on his things, wheeling their equipment onto the stage.

"Who's that guy?" His brother asked dreamily, still looking behind his shoulder.

"Probably in the catalog right? Let's not worry about him for now." Beomgyu mumbled, annoyed more than anything.

Rehearsal was something alright. Though the audience was empty except for passing staffers, the duo tried to channel all their energy and hype into their music, both actually excited about their real performance, feeling out the stage, owning it more and more as they played. Beomgyu could hear the cheers of adoring fans already. Perhaps only a handful of them would already know the lyrics and chant along, but by casting such a wide net they were sure to gain a bigger audience.

When they finished, sweat running down the sides of their temples, they returned backstage to rifle through their luggage for nourishment, ready to pack up for the day. 

Correction: Beomgyu did. Yeonjun was glued to the side, one hand braced against the wall as he tried to peek onstage at the tall man he had been eyeing earlier, who took center stage and sensually wrapped one veiny hand around a standing mic and flipped his hair, adopting the aura of a lead singer in an instance. 

Beomgyu stomped to his older brother with two bottles of water in his hand, stealing glances just like Yeonjun when he tried to elbow him over to get a good look.

"Ready everyone?" The man glanced around at his drummer, guitarist, and bassist and asked in a husky, sultry voice. It made chills run down Beomgyu's spine.

"Ready Soobin." The drummer called faintly, a bright-eyed man with brown curls and a heart-shaped smile.

"One, two, three, let's go." Soobin had a voice like honey and fire, perfect for the fast-tempoed contemporary rock their band blasted, with far higher quality production than that of Blackened Rose. Beomgyu was immediately jealous of how well they performed, how much more experienced and likely well established than he and Yeonjun were. They were decidedly a different facet of rock, with groovy rhythms that Soobin's voice complemented well.

"That's wicked good, man." He mouthed to Yeonjun, who nodded in agreement. Beomgyu pulled out the catalog:  
Goddess of Love, main vocalist Choi Soobin.

Cringe.

Beomgyu tried to keep down the nasty feeling in his gut. "Hyungie's got a crush~" He sang, teasing. Yeonjun straightened up and pushed Beomgyu back into the room. 

"Go go go, geez." He putted, clicking his tongue after Beomgyu as he ushered the younger man to pack his things. They could stop by a McDonald's or a Subway on the way home. Yeonjun still had a lovey dovey look in his eyes as he ate, clearly still pining after Soobin despite having met him just today. It was so _strange_ to see, mostly because his brother has rarely if ever shown interest in a guy in front of Beomgyu, readily keeping his romantic life separate from his little brother.

Was it… was it because of him? Beomgyu suddenly wondered. Was he the one holding his brother back? That hurt to think about. He snuck a glance at the other man, who took a huge chunk out of his $1 soft serve while scrolling through his phone.

"Yeonjun-ah, let's do our best." He smiled reassuringly.

"Fighting!" Yeonjun said and shook his fist lightly, his mouth full.

\------------------

Bamgu:  
_no yea yeonjun's got a crush and hes so annoying abt it_  
_but i dont think hes gotten laid in like a year so i get it?? Im probably just being a dick_

Terrhyunnie:  
_yea u might be a dick_  
_why do you feel so bad abt it?_

Bamgu:  
_idk_

_cause my older bro, my only salvation, is giving himself to another man and caring about his thoughts and feelings and sshit_

Terrhyunnie:  
_hyung i think u just gotta let him live his life_

Bamgu:  
_i dont even think soobin likes him_

Terrhyunnie:  
_Beomgyu._

Bamgu:  
_fiiiine_

\------------

"Why _do_ you like him so much?" Beomgyu asked a few days after the concert as they sat down for breakfast together. Yeonjun blushed uncharacteristically and shifted in his seat.

"He's charming."

When Beomgyu met him with silence, Yeonjun confessed.

"I first started talking to a fan who reached out through our webpage."

"We were just going to be Internet friends, but he was so sweet and supportive when we talked." So that's the late nights of giggling.

"We decided to meet up, somewhere public of course, and it was Soobin! ‘Course I didn't know it was him, he very pointedly avoided personal information, I thought he was just a normal fan."

Yeonjun looked up at the ceiling. "And he was so tall, so dreamy. Don't make that face, he's hot! And the very next day… I mean, him and his band, incredible." 

"So you knew him already, it seems?"

"Sure did, we've been keeping up contact since." Yeonjun swirled his coffee with a happy sigh. "He's so kind and smart and sweet. I think I really like him." He stopped stirring.

"Beomgyu," he put a hand on his brother's arm, expression suddenly intense. "I love you and the band with all my heart. Don't think for a second that hyung would leave you for anything, okay?"

Beomgyu's eyes burned with tears. He glared to keep them from spilling over, stiffening his face from wobbling as he nodded wordlessly. His nervous fingers curled into fists, trying for all the world not to seem like a baby in front of his brother. Of course. Of course Yeonjun was a good older brother like that, a great older brother, used to putting the younger's needs before his own, not even going out or dating anyone in the prime of his youth except through work, by happenstance. Would Beomgyu ever be able to repay him?

"I don't want that." He forced out through the tears, voice husky and hollowed out. "I just want hyung to be happy." In his heart he knew it was the truth, even if it hurt to accept.

"I'm glad you support me, Gyu." Yeonjun beamed.

In the afternoon, when the two boys got done with work and returned home and ate together, they put their $200 earnings that arrived by check into the ledger and Beomgyu squinted at the numbers to decide how their budget would change. Yeonjun composed on the piano, muttering lyrics quietly to himself. Their concert performance coincided with the close of their latest EP, and so the boys were working on new music. This was Beomgyu's favorite part, the carefree humming and no-undo scribbling phase. Music is, after all, meant to be liberating. And he left Yeonjun to it, taking over the mind numbing technicalities for the evening.

Yeonjun hummed to himself happily all night. He eventually fell asleep curled up on the bench, and Beomgyu stealthily fetched him a blanket, draping the soft fabric over his brother’s broad shoulders. Beomgyu couldn't help but glance at the lyrics Yeonjun refused to sing out loud, and nearly melted at its contents.

It was the beginnings of a love song, the kind of love that is innocent and invaluable, a first love that cannot be replaced. Well, if Yeonjun was happy, so was Beomgyu.

\------------

Beargyu:  
_i’m pretty sure they fucked in the house get me out of heeere_

SolomontheWise:  
_lmao gimme 10 min to get here let’s go for coffee_

Beargyu:  
_i wanna DIE they're so MUSHY ITS GROSSS_

SolomontheWise:  
_yeh yeh drama queen_

"My brother's acting like a total virgin." Beomgyu hissed over his iced latte, Taehyun sipping his lemonade calmly across from him.

"But he isn't anymore?"

"I don't know! I'm not raring to find out. They're in this honeymoon phase where they won't keep off of eachother." Beomgyu bemoaned.

"Except I don't understand why its always at _our_ place, Soobin's a big shot musician who can probably at least afford a house and anyway I just hate him."

"Why?"

"No fucking clue."

A month later, he had a somewhat better idea, because Yeonjun came home three hours late and bawling his eyes out. Beomgyu had never seen his brother cry this openly before, and some part of him already knew the reason why.

"He never loved me." Yeonjun wailed, his faded pink hair in disarray as he tugged at the strands with sorrowful hands, Beomgyu rushing to his side to help him take off his coat and put away his keys, setting him down on the couch and sitting next to him.

"He's been in love with the fucking drummer boy Kai and I didn't even _know_." He sobbed in full force, Beomgyu reaching out a soothing hand to pat his brother as he gulped for air, blinking rapidly.

"Not a single word." Yeonjun finished, looking miffed if it wasn't for the way the corners of his lips turned uncontrollably downwards and his brow upwards.

"Thought I'd surprise him by getting off work early, I don't hate Kai, I don't." He used his fingertips to brush away the tears, recomposing himself just to fall apart again. Beomgyu held Yeonjun tightly, trembling with tears of his own welling up in his eyes.

"He was kissing and touching Soobin in a way I never got to. That bastard looked so happy." Yeonjun mumbled.

"I just need a moment alone, okay Beommie?" Yeonjun smiled shakily, patting Beomgyu's hair like he was still three years old.

"I can get out of the house if you want." Beomgyu offered. 

"It's okay, I'll just go um… play something." Unwilling to leave his brother alone, Beomgyu stayed frozen to the couch, ears attentive.

No music started. Not a single note, nothing. Well, yes, when you go through heartbreak the notes won’t exactly flow, or so Beomgyu presumed. In consequence, he spent the evening fiddling with his guitar with his long legs curled up on the cushions, tightening and untightening the strings, falling out of tune and back, meandering and listless. But as Yeonjun stayed silent the whole night, Beomgyu could only give up his own scattered plucking, not a lick of progress made.

And all that would have been fine, if the next day Yeonjun wasn't still silent, and the day after as well, Beomgyu left to drown himself in the despairing silence. He had a feeling he heard death in audio form then, the death of an artist.

t@ehyun: _Dont be overdramatic. give him a week and he'll be fine._

_gyu?_

_gyu im sorry ok, come to my place if u cant take it in the house_

Like hell he was going to leave his brother.

beomgyu:

_thx but no thx taehyun_

_ttyl though_

To distract himself, Beomgyu pulled up their Twitter. He went to the private messages where a small "1" in a tiny circle adored the right corner of an icon of Aphrodite. Without looking, he deleted the entire conversation. Cleaning up the rest of their posts and updating the biography of Blackened Rose to read "new EP coming! Jul 2021," Beomgyu sighed and wished the apartment would be lively again.

On the fourth day post-fallout, the house was filled with melody again, Beomgyu's ears twitching with curiosity as life reasserted itself back in proximity of Yeonjun. Kind of. Still shut in his room, Beomgyu listened in horror at the blatant key mashing, the purposeful dissonance and off-rhythm bullshit Yeonjun was making his piano gargle out, the anger of it permeating the apartment like the stench of rotten meat. He could hear the abuse on the keys too, nails scraping against plastic and the rough tapping clouding the sound further.

Positively rotten, festered away was how Beomgyu would describe it, and listening to his brother manifesting his catharsis in the form of musical trainwreck was just- nerve wracking.

On the fifth day, Yeonjun played the love song he wrote an eternity ago. Beomgyu half-basked in it, sitting at the kitchen table putting down chord progressions from his head and thematic shifts to go with them. As he listened, the notes broke down like an antique clock, Yeonjun's left hand, then right, deftly unraveling the strings of the melody and spiraling them down, descending to darkness, the texture becoming a heavy, shadowy velvet. It held more grace to it than yesterday's fury, more composed, self-assured.

That night, Beomgyu had a nightmare. In it he woke up in their small apartment all alone, half-dressed and calling out into lonely empty corners for "Yeonjunhyung". But his brother was gone. On the kitchen counter he left a note, but when Beomgyu reached for it, a blare of disembodied and dissonant piano notes came streaming into the apartment, filling the walls and ceiling and choking him until he couldn't breathe. Beomgyu woke up gasping and didn't call for Yeonjun.

On the sixth day, Yeonjun combined the two. Miraculously, and with the expertise of musical theory Beomgyu grew rusty on, Yeonjun poured his heart out on a musical story of healing, of letting the darkness go and coming full circle, bringing the closing of the love song back to the self. He half crooned into their studio mic, gritting out the lyrics written for naive love now transformed, Beomgyu transfixed on the other side of the door. Yeonjun swung open the door of his room, notes fisted in his right hand as he smiled at his brother with glittering eyes, slightly out of breath.

"New song for the EP, let's get to work."

**Author's Note:**

> i had a bigger purpose here, but i think this is ok for now. lmk if you wanna see more of this au!! totally was not thinking abt twenty one pilots the whole time
> 
> thank you for reading~ i appreciate all feedback!


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